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Golf and Public Restrooms Etiquette as one article.

1. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.

2. Form a loose grip.

3. Keep your head down.

4. Avoid a quick backswing.

5. Stay out of the water.

6. Try not to hit anybody.

7. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.

8. You shouldn’t stand directly in front of others.

9. Be quiet while others are about to go.

10. Keep strokes to a minimum.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

42.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.

3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.

99.5 % of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

Borrow money from a pessimist, they don’t expect it back.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!