Funny Jokes, Pictures, Videos

GOOD
In Richardson, Texas State Trooper was running radar. He had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn’t getting any Then he discovered the problem. A 12 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read “RADAR TRAP AHEAD!”
The officer later found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading, “TIPS” and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Plano, Texas. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST
A young woman was pulled over in Austin, Texas for speeding. As the TX State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball.” He replied, “Texas State Troopers don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he’d just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.

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The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE.”

“He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.

“You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

“After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.

“Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands.

“Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

The wife replied, “The fricking funeral director would be my first guess!”

I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get
that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling
better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start
work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you’re too young to work. You get ready for
college: drink alcohol, party, and you’re pretty much a free spirit.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you
have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then…You spend your last 9 months
floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central
heating, room service on tap, and then… You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

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Who Let The Blog Out?

I am just stepping in here to announce that this is the article before the article - the pre-article, if you will - that we will write about John McCain’s pre-announcement of his announcement to run for president. You could call it the pre-blog post of the blog post regarding McCain’s pre-announcement announcement. Once the senator and former POW announces his post-announcement of his announcement to run for president, we fully intend to follow up with a post-blog post to say what we’ve already said in the pre-blog post of the coming blog post regarding the pre-announcement of the post-announcement’s announcement. And please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I just did.

Allen Taylor
Former Wannabe Blogger