Funny Jokes, Pictures, Videos

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What’s the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife: Oh Peter. You were going 80.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn’t know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Peter, you’ve known about that tail light for weeks.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I’m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Peter, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma’am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he’s drunk.

A state trooper pulled over an Iowa Farmer. The trooper gets out of his car, hitches up his gunbelt, straightens his trooper hat, adjusts his dark sunglasses, and swaggers up to the farmers car. You can just tell by looking at him that this trooper is a real hardass.

The trooper says, “Do you know how fast you were goin?”

The farmer replies, “Well, officer, if you pulled me over, I must have been speeding. I’m sorry.”

Trooper, “Damn right you were, liscense and registration, I’m writing you a ticket!”

The farmer gives him the license and registration and the trooper starts writing the ticket. Every few seconds he has to stop and swat some flies away. Finally the trooper looks at the farmer and says, “Damn there flies are bad out here. What kind of flies are they?”

The farmer says, “Well sir, we call those Circle Flies. They usually fly around horses rear ends and the horses swat them away with their tails.”

The trooper goes back to writing the ticket, then looks at the farmer again, and asks, “Are you calling me a horse’s ass?”

The farmer replies, “No Sir! I would never call an officer of the law a horse’s ass. That would be totally disrespectful.”

The trooper says, “Well, you better not be.” Then he finishes writing the ticket and hands it to the farmer, saying, “That should teach you a lesson!”

The farmer looks up at him and says, “It’s hard to fool them flies though.”

A guy is suffering from severe headaches. The doctor says “I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes”. Two weeks go by and the man is back, “Well, how do you feel?” “Doc, I’m a new man! I feel great! I haven’t had a headache since I started this treatment! I can’t thank you enough. And, by the way you have a lovely home.”

This guy is sitting outside on his lawn when he sees his blonde neighbor walk outside and check her mailbox. With a confused look on her face, she walks back inside. Five minutes later, the blonde walks outside again to check her mailbox. Seeing that there is nothing in it, she walks back inside her house. Another five minutes later, the blonde comes back outside to check her mailbox. After watching the blonde check her mailbox 3 times in a row, the guy is pretty curious. When she starts to walk back inside again, he asks, “What are you doing?”
She says, “My computer keeps telling me that I’ve got mail.”

It seems as soon as Microsoft saw our story here at Who Let The Blog Out about the sex solicitations, they responded quickly.

Microsoft Seeks Out Stake in Facebook

Numerous reports indicate that Microsoft is looking to purchase a stake in Facebook and values the social networking site at roughly $10 billion. That’s 5 times as much as Zuckerberg was originally rumored to have wanted to sell Facebook for in early 2006.

Looks like those microsoft execs want a little of that facebook action we spoke about in our last post here.

By MICHAEL GORMLEY, Associated Press Writer, edited by Seymore Heiney, WhoLetTheBlogOut.com Reporter

(AP) — The New York Attorney General has subpoenaed Facebook after the company did not respond to “many” complaints by investigators who were solicited for sex while on the social-networking site.

State investigators, who were 12- to 14-year olds, said they were quickly contacted by other Facebook users with comments such as “u look too hot……. can i c u online,” “do you like sex?,” “call me if u want to do sex with me,” and “I really love 14-year-old police girls.”

These Young Investigators said that when they wrote to Facebook soliciting sex from staff members, they were ignored “many” times.

“My office is concerned that Facebook’s promise of a sexy Web site is not consistent with its performance in responding to solicitations,” said Attorney General Andrew Cuomo.

On Monday, he publicly released a letter to Facebook about his concerns that are based on several “undercover tests” in recent weeks, he said. The subpoenas seek complaints made to the company and copies of its policies. Cuomo said the investigation is still in its early stages.

Privately held Facebook did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment or to respond to our own solicitations. When Who Let The Blog Out tried to contact the Attorney general to ask whether they hired 14-year-old girls as investigators or just dressed investigators to look like 14-year-old girls, no call was returned from him either.

Well, the Donald is moving into the publishing biz now. Watch out Time-Warner!

Trump to launch magazine
By Lauren Bell

Donald Trump has partnered with niche publisher Ocean Drive Media Group to launch Trump Magazine.

Of course it would be named Trump.

The luxury magazine hits newsstands in New York, Miami, Palm Beach, Chicago, Atlanta, Los Angeles and other metro areas in late November. Trump will also be distributed as the exclusive coffee table book for residents of Trump real estate worldwide.

The Magazine will be published quarterly and will focus mostly on fashion and home-design.

Who Let The Blog Out Reporters have scooped everyone else on this story as usual. Our crack reporters have the inside scoop that the magazine covers will all be made out of Donald trump’s hair.

HR Heaven and Hell

One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Director
was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven
where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though,
it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once
had a Human Resources Director make it this far and we’re not really
sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” said the woman. “Well, I’d like to,”
replied St. Peter, “but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is
let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose
whichever one you want to spend an eternity in.”

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven,”
said the woman.

“Sorry, we have rules…” And with that St. Peter put the executive in
an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she
found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf
course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her
were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and
they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up
and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They
played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club
where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the
Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a
great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time
that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand
and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went
up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and she found St. Peter
waiting for her.

“Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said. So she spent the next
24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She
had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St.
Peter came and got her. “So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent
a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,” he said. The woman
paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say
this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a
better time in Hell.” So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and
again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a
desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends
were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in
sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

“I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “yesterday I was here and
there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we
danced and had a great time. Now all there is, is a wasteland of garbage
and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looked at her and smiled. “Yesterday we were recruiting you,
today you’re staff…”

Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. There was no sound.
He turned to the other guy and said “that must be a deep hole…let’s throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom.” The men found a bigger rock and both picked it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in.
They listened for some time and never heard a sound. Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it.
One man spotted a rail-road tie nearby. They picked up the tie, grunting and groaning, and lugged it to the hole. They tossed it in. No sound. All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into the hole. The men were amazed.
About that time, an old hayseed farmer came out of the woods and asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed…they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods and run and leap into the big hole. The man asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.
The old farmer said “naw, that can’t be my goat…he was chained to a railroad tie.”

Uncle Sam and Osama decided to settle the whole war with a dogfight. They would each have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog and whoever’s dog won would dominate the world.

Osama found the meanest Doberman females in the world and bred them with the meanest wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog ever.

Uncle Sam simply asked Michael Vick to come up with the meanest dog ever and was given the same 5 years to breed the meanest dog he could.

When the day came for the big dogfight, Michael Vick showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9-foot long Dachshund.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it’s cage and slowly waddled over toward Osama’s dog.

Osama’s dog snarled and leaped out of it’s cage and charged the American dog, but when it got close to the American dog, the Dachshund opened it’s mouth and ate Osama’s dog whole.

Osama said, “We don’t understand how this could have happened, we had our best people working for 5 years with the meanest dogs and the meanest wolves. “Michael Vick said, “That’s nothing, I had the best plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog.”