Funny Jokes, Pictures, Videos

The search for life in the Vice President was called off this summer after his internal heart-regulating device was discovered to be malfunctioning.

If current retail trends hold up throughout the shopping season, “Pilates By Pelosi” will outperform all of her other workout videos combined.

While many are unsure how this will play in Iowa, where collectives tend more towards dairy than Borg, Clinton’s supporters could not be happier.

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left Arm and repeat process.

3. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

4. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws, ignore growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

5. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

6. Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat’s head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of a drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

7. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap and water.

8. Tie the little angel’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical and pour 2 pints of water down cat’s throat to wash down pill.

9. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the A&E, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill from your eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order a new table.

10. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.

Who Let The Blog Out?

See if you can find the 3 differences in these two pictures. Click on the link below and study them closely. If you find them, you will be in a elite group of people.

Mark Zuckerberg pointed to various technical obstacles as the reason why his latest venture has ceased operation just six months after launching.

Long the red-headed stepchild of the interrogation toolbox, dustboarding involves the slow pouring of sand over a stationary prisoner’s head.

WhoLetTheBlogOut asked NBA officials if reports were true about a new NBA conference or a whole new basketball league was being created. They adamantly deny any rumors to that effect.

But unrelaible anonymous sources tell Who Let The Blog Out that there really is such a basketball league or conference beiong created and that announcements would come soon.

The TBA stands for the Texas Basketball League we have been told. The three Texas Professional Basketball teams, the Houston Rockets, The San Antonio Spurs, and the Dallas Mavericks are said to have held secret meetings to discuss this action.

When Who Let The Blog Out asked Yao Ming about it, he stated he knew nothing about the new league, but that he would welcome it, adding, “At least there would be some real competition.”

Dirk Nowitsky agreed with Yao, stating “The only real competition we face is right here in Texas anyway, so why not keep it here.”

Tim Duncan at first refused to comment, then said, “I really like playing the teams from out of state, especially teams from the eastern conference. Those extra wins could give us an edge over the other Texas teams, so I’m against the TBA being formed.”

Who Let The Blog Out will continue to follow this TBA story and bring you the latest so stay tuned!

In related news, Kobe Bryant announces the KBA, or Kobe Bryant Association, where he will be the only player who gets to wear his name on his jersey. Everyone else will also get a smaller number than Kobe.

President Bush has signed a bill that moves Christmas back to December 29, a measure expected to pour another $16.2 million into the U.S. economy.