You may not want to share some of the things you did in 2007 with your grandchildren. If you did any of these things in 2007, destroy all of the evidence or your grandchildren may find cause to declare you with diminished capacity and put you in that nursing home after all.

If you were upset or depressed or thought “it was like wrong, totally”, because paris Hilton had to go to jail, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you joined the church of scientology after seeing Tom Cruise on a talk show, you may not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you stood in line or slept on a sidewalk to pay $600 for a Wii or an iPhone, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you spent any time at all following the misadventures of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, or Lindsay Lohan, while missing stories like this; “January 11 - China successfully tests a ground-based ballistic missile capable of destroying satellites in orbit”, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you stood in Line so you could be the first one to get the latest Harry Potter Book and you are over 11 years old, you may not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you decided to vote for Barack Obama because Oprah Winfrey endorsed him and that “was good enough for you”, you may not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you once again believed that OJ Simpson is not guilty or plan to do some looting after he is convicted, you may not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you shared the youtube video with your friends about the dumbass who is now famous for the phrase, “Don’t Tase Me Bro”, you may not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you found yet two more reality tv shows to add to your must watch list, you may not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you said Brett Favre should retire this year because he doesn’t really have the arm anymore, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you used the phrase, “I read it in wikipedia” to try and win an argument, you may not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you bought a new computer because the sign on it said “Windows Vista Compatible”, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you made a bet that the Chicago Bears would return to the superbowl, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you thought that using, “I read it on Matt Cutts’ Blog”, would win an argument, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you held a prayer vigil because Bob Barker retired from The Price Is Right, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you browsed the Internet searching for a paparazzi picture of Britney Spears with no panties on, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If this headline, “U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney serves as Acting President for two and a half hours, while President George W. Bush undergoes a colonoscopy procedure.” didn’t scare you, or you did not know this until just now, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you purchased anything that said you could get rich on the Internet only working about 4 hours per month, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

If you thought this news story, “A mix of anatomical traits on a 40,000-year-old partial human skeleton unearthed in China supported the controversial possibility of interbreeding among Stone Age Homo species” was put out to support the cause of gay marriage, you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

Additional news from 2007:

This year, Researchers found the largest hole in the universe, a billion light-year-wide region devoid of matter. In related news, the presidential campaigns were reported to be much the same.

Mice bred to lack a gene involved in brain-cell communication developed excessive grooming and other problems that may represent an animal model of obsessive-compulsive disorder. This scientific discovery explains meterosexuals.

And the last news story in the world of science; “Investigators identified brain areas that contribute to the ability to forget disturbing memories on purpose.” This will help you forget the things you might not want to tell your grandchildren.

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