NEW YORK (CAP) – Famed banal bird bagger of the surreal desert SouthWest Wile E. Coyote (Carnivorous Vulgaris) died last week in New York, according to his long-time agent Tim Springer.
“Everyone that knew Wile knows the past few years haven’t been particularly kind to him,” Springer said in a released statement. “He hasn’t worked in years, and even when he was working, he wasn’t eating that well. He just wanted to go to New York to try and change his life around.”
According to a police report obtained by CAP News, it looked at first like Mr. Coyote was well on his way to doing so. The pigeon is a much slower bird than the road runner, and Central Park pigeons in particular have what can kindly be called a muted sense of self-preservation. During his first two weeks in the Big Apple, Wile E. Coyote dined well.